Kink Resources & BDSM Education
Read. Learn. Get Involved.
Explore Philly TNG’s list of resources to learn about different aspects of BDSM, the community, lifestyle, and play. Educate yourself about topics from consent to bondage to dominance and submission to navigating the kink community.
Beginner Resources
Basic Kink FAQs [ Article ]
by @MartiPaige and @bigpinktank
“What is a “scene”? What are the differences between bottom/sub/slave and top/dominant/master? What are “soft limits” and “hard limits”? What are safewords?” Find answers to these and all sorts of other topics.
mollie's Kink Event Etiquette 101 [ Article ]
by mollie (molecute)
Learn about the most common types of kink events and ettiquette for attending.
Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities [ Book ]
by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Sprott
“This book is designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community; overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards that view them as sick or pathological.”
View the Book- Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities
Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge [ Book ]
by Tristan Taormino
“The first major guide to BDSM in a generation – a bold and sexy collection of essays that run the gamut from expert how-to tutorials to provocative essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power, and pleasure.”
View the Book- Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge
Bondage Guides
Better Bondage for Every Body [ Book ]
by Evie Vane
“Love getting tied up for fun? Just curious? This extraordinary celebration of rope bondage combines glorious full-color photos, groundbreaking research, and tips found nowhere else in one must-read book. You’ll get insightful writings by bondage experts worldwide on topics like pain processing, anatomy, and rope relationships—plus the stretching warm-up you’ve been waiting for. And if you’re a rope bottom who’s curvy, male, 40+, or gender-nonconforming, or you have a special physical condition like fibromyalgia, you’ll get helpful ideas tailored just for you, gathered from bondage lovers spanning the globe.”
Bondage Pick-Up Play “Real Talk” (aka, bondage negotiation basics) [ Article ]
by Stefanos & Shay
“…when I’m doing bondage pick-up play, I don’t take an hour on negotiation. I do a very focused negotiation, only asking the questions that matter most to me AND that will actually change something that I’m doing (because if the answer doesn’t change anything… why ask the question?). I don’t ask the exact same questions every time- there are always cues based on context that inform where I focus. Still, my basic pick-up play bondage negotiation has two parts: 1) Asking some basic questions, and 2) Giving some basic risk-awareness education.”
Read- Bondage Pick-Up Play “Real Talk” (aka, bondage negotiation basics)
Rope365 Tutorials [ Website ]
“Rope365 is a compendium of ideas to learn, practice and explore rope bondage. Also known as shibari or kinbaku, rope can be a powerful tool to connect with your partner, with your own body, and with your creative mind. 365 concepts to try out, enough to keep you busy for a year, and probably a lifetime.”
Health & Wellness
KinkAbuse.com [ Website ]
“The concept for KinkAbuse.com is quite simple. SweetGeekGoddess and I wanted a free web resource available for people to identify signs & symptoms of abuse, and abusive situations. We also wanted to provide support in the form of articles and suggestions in dealing with those situations.”
Read articles to help identify the signs of emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual violence, and on the other side, healthy BDSM.
SmartSexResource [ Website ]
“SmartSexResource is a service provided by the Clinical Prevention Services Division at the BC Centre for Disease Control, as part of the Provincial Health Services Authority. This Division provides leadership for the treatment and prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STI) and HIV, and supports BC-wide efforts to control STI and HIV. “
Transforming Sexual Narratives: A Relational Approach to Sex Therapy [ Book ]
by Suzanne Iasenza
“This book offers readers the opportunity to address complex sexual problems through Narrative Relational Sex Therapy (NRST)…Drawing on the strengths of three very different therapeutic traditions – psychoanalytic, couple and family systems, and sex therapy – it delivers a fresh and dynamic way of understanding the complex interrelationship between personal, social, cultural, and familial sexual narratives.”
View the Book- Transforming Sexual Narratives: A Relational Approach to Sex Therapy
Polyamory & Nonmonogamy
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory [ Book ]
by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
“Polyamory has its personal and interpersonal struggles. How does trust and transparency in relationships work where one or more are actively seeking sex or romantic companionship from outside the current relationships? How do we voice feelings of insecurity and jealousy without unintentionally obstructing our partner’s other relationships? More Than Two is a manual for addressing the obstacles, philosophical and mundane, that come up in the course of imagining a life that gives you the love and companionship you need.”
View the Book- More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy [ Book ]
by Jessica Fern
“Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.”
View the Book- Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
Power Exchange Relationships
Negotiating Your Power Dynamic Relationship [ Book ]
by Raven Kaldera
“Whether you are a new couple who has come together to form a power exchange relationship, or you’re a long-term existing couple who want to change the hierarchy, you’ll need to negotiate thoughtfully and with consideration for the needs of all involved. This book is designed for people who are custom-designing a Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Owner/property or Leading/supporting relationship, as well as the single seeker who wants to figure out their desires and limits in advance. From rules and rituals to health and finance, these questions will help you clarify what works for you and what doesn’t.”
Safety Guides
Blackout: What to do when someone faints [ Article ]
by Stefanos & Shay
“Fainting or blacking out (known medically as “syncope”) is not infrequent in a play setting, especially when rope suspension is involved. In the majority of cases, the fainter will recover quickly. Don’t panic! At an event or a venue where medical staff is available, immediately call them if someone faints.”
Breath Control Play: A long and technical outline of practices and risks [ Article ]
by Stefanos & Shay
““Breath control play” as practiced in BDSM is a broad and often misunderstood term, and physiologic effects are often not as they appear. Many common forms of “breath control” do not involve breathing at all, but rather focus on restricting blood flow to the brain. A common thread, however, is decreased oxygen levels in the brain, causing altered levels of consciousness. Different forms of “breath control” have different risks (and, perhaps, different rewards), so it’s important to differentiate between types.
There are three major subsets that can be considered under the umbrella of breath control play: choking, smothering, and strangulation. These are not “clean” divisions (definitions of these words aren’t clear either), and some types of play involve multiple modalities. But before we get into those specifics, let’s take a moment to discuss an indirect physiological effect: stimulation of baroreceptors.”
Read- Breath Control Play: A long and technical outline of practices and risks
Pregnancy and BDSM [ Article ]
by Stefanos & Shay
“The idea of a pregnant person tied up and being flogged is almost certain to evoke complicated emotions and concerns. It’s easy to say (or imply) that people “should” just stop playing during their pregnancies — it’s easy, and lacks nuance or a reflection of the realities of kinky play and healthy pregnancy. This article is intended to offer some information on playing as safely as possible during a healthy pregnancy, and is intended for both the players and for the information of Dungeon Monitors (DMs) and spectators. Most of this article addresses bottoming during pregnancy (simply because that is where I’ve heard the most safety concerns expressed).”